The End of the Summer

Mile Marker 50:

The summer ends

And we wonder where we are….

--So sings Dar Williams, one of my favorite musicians.

I know it’s only August, but the sky says autumn is near.  The clouds are high and cottony.  And when I take a deep breath, it feels like swallowing clean, pure water.  These are NOT the days of Philly summers. 

I marked Mile 50 this afternoon while shopping for a last minute addition to my mom’s birthday gift.  Her birthday's tomorrow, and I've been tracking it carefully on my calendar, afraid to let it out of my sight. 

You see, since my accident, the changing months and seasons have swirled around me like January snow. 

Something happens when you miss your traditions at Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, and Christmas.  When New Year's Day doesn't bring those crazy Mummers partying down your street.   When Valentine’s Day slips by without kid-delivered Candygrams.  And when you're not one of those desperate teachers counting down to Spring Break!

Time gets away from you.

...And the same things looked different

It’s the end of the summer…. 

I saw the seasons change, but my familiar signposts were missing.

Three times, when I was discharged from the hospital, we were told, “Better leave now, before the blizzard hits.”  Truly, this happened THREE separate times!  Remember that wicked winter!?  

Once home, I peered out my parents' back window at the snowy icing on the tree branches.  But I didn't listen to the radio for snowdays.

In the spring I helped my brother Steve plant flowers.  (I'm using the term "helped" loosely here, but I did sit in a lawn chair and scoop soil!)   Still, Sunday mornings didn't include skating.

And then summer came.   There were PT sessions and prosthesis fittings.  A shuffling of clothes, crutches, and shower chairs.  Suddenly, I found myself back home in the city!

….It’s just that time of year

When we push ourselves ahead….

 Now, I'm pushing ahead into a new school year, but I'm not exactly sure how I got here.  And I'm even LESS certain of what lies ahead.

Except my desk, that is.  I glimpsed it last week, and I can tell you it's frozen at last November, plus some.  I’m hoping I can bring it up to speed with the help of a few knowledgeable colleagues, a trash can, and some Lysol wipes. 

The bigger job will be to figure out what else I’ve missed in the last 9 months.   There’s so much to catch up on, it’s scary.  But I guess uneasiness isn’t a reason to stay behind.

...And the colors are much brighter now

It’s like they really want to tell the truth

We give our testimony to the end of the summer….

THINK FALL, I tell myself.  New starts.  The leaves will turn to rust and green and treasure gold.  The wind’ll blow cool and fresh.  And we’ll have many more days like today. 

As a child of the 70's, I can't resist comparing this moment to starting a record in the middle of the album.  Just plopping down that needle mid-song, hearing that ear-piercing scratch, and then trying to sing along. 

I'll need to listen carefully to the tune, and maybe lip-sync at first, but I'll figure it out eventually.  After all, I DO know the words.

…It’s the end of the summer

You can spin the light to gold.

Happy Birthday Mom!  Here's wishing you the bluest sky.... 

Mileage so far:  50.49

(Thanks to Dar Williams who expresses so perfectly in song those ideas I couldn't possibly sing on my own.)