Steppin' Out -- NYC

To seek renewal, maybe you'd go to the spa.

I'm in New York City!

Really, this is better than a massage table, where I'd be lying with my eyes closed, dwelling on health issues and uncertainties, and all the things I should be doing (but can't quite manage) to keep pace with "normal" life.  

Better to be stepping out here -- onto this crazy-busy sidewalk -- nearly galloping to keep pace with my good friend Elaine, who's surprisingly city-wise for someone from Idaho!

We dodge traffic and people,
step on and off curbs, 

and in and out of elevators.

We catch the lights

as we catch up on conversation.

It's invigorating

and exciting

and exhilarating

and exhausting (in all the best ways!).

At MoMA, we hunt down the original Starry Night.

At Chelsea Market, we stalk an Israeli food stand till it opens.

At the Strand, we get lost in the stacks.

Then, on the way back to the train station, we stumble onto this spot...

...Oh YES, we do!

New York City is only 2 hours from Philly.  

But for me, it doesn't feel like an easy journey.  It's been years since I've traveled anywhere, especially on my own.

The night before, I reduce what I'll have to carry -- discarding extra clothes in favor of crutches and emergency items for any "body breakdown" I can imagine.  (And then, in imagining those breakdowns, I almost cancel the trip!)

On the way there, I obsess about sitting on metal benches at the train station and climbing in and out of cabs, obstacles that can disrupt even the best of leg days.

With the weight of worry,
it's a wonder I go anywhere at all!

But when I finally meet up with Elaine, those concerns fade into the backdrop of city noise.

Elaine keeps me in the moment.  She approaches challenge with curiosity.  She takes travel adventures (and mishaps!) in stride.  We've known each other a long time, and it's just so FUN to be together again.

I can't keep this pace forever, but for 24 hours, it's worth a try!

At the Strand, we both find books that call to us.

For me, it's a book of photography by Vivienne Gucwa, a NYC resident who, back in 2009, began walking the city as a way to deal with stress, and along the way, found renewal through the lens of her camera.   

On the train ride home, 
her words and images resonate with me.

This little trip helps me dust off some of my own "lenses" too -- ones I'd almost forgotten I had.

The harnessing of courage.  

The joy of taking risks.

The irreplaceable comfort of friendship.

And the pure, life-changing power of steppin' out.

Walking Day 2023

My leg feels heavy this morning.

It happens sometimes. We had a winter warm-up these last few days, so I switched from boots to lighter shoes.  This morning, the temp dips back to 39.

And I'm in boots again.

They're heavy!

For an amputee, a little thing like changing shoes can make or break your day.  

It's simple physics:  when you lift a long prosthesis with a short lever (a.k.a. 10-inch residual limb), any additional weight can be challenging.

I'm an "experienced walker" now, so I try to roll with it.

Today marks 12 years since I took my first steps on a prosthesis.  Woo-hoo!

Here's the video of those steps back in February 2011.  

I called it Walking Day.

I used to take baby steps.  But it's been 12 years, so I guess now I walk like a "tween."  (This would explain my leg's moodiness!)

Some days I walk easily, almost like my old self.  
Other days, I can't walk at all.  
Most days fall somewhere in between.

For all the advances in medicine and technology, walking is an inexact science that depends on a thousand factors... 

muscle strength and skin,

efficiency and energy,
comfort and pain,

prosthetic fit,

priceless "leg time."

Still, it's good to get out there.

Movement, no matter how slow, usually empowers me.  Fresh air, no matter how cold, usually resets my mind.  

I don't have to go far or fast.

To notice small changes along the path.

A glimpse of sky,
no matter how small,
helps put problems in perspective.

Walking (or not) has helped me process life as an amputee.  It gives me a frame on which to hang "good leg days" and not-so-good ones.  

Over time, I've tried to get comfortable in both spaces.

This morning I heard a quote by Chinese leader Deng Xiaoping.  He said it more than 40 years ago to describe the phenomenon of China's gradual growth and expansion:

Crossing the river by feeling the stones.

Today, these words capture my journey. 

You'd think by now I could cross that river in leaps and bounds, my eyes steadily fixed on the other side.

But really, I still feel each stone.

I lean into the walk -- each walk -- with all its weight and varied terrain.

Even now, after 12 years, learning as I go.  

Happy Walking Day 2023!

Gluggavedur

Ever have a moment when you look out the window and everything feels right in the world?

In this case, it's a car window.
In a CVS parking lot.
With a surprisingly good sky.

Little known fact:  I often find good skies here.  

Another little known fact (or widely known if you live in the area):  That field below the sky?  It used to be densely forested land -- before an unexpected tornado swept through it in September 2021.

Maybe that's why the sky is so surprisingly good.

I learned a new word recently:  Gluggavedur

It's an Icelandic concept that translates to "window weather."  

Gluggavedur brings to mind cozy moments curled up by a warmly lit window, looking outside when you're grateful and happy to be inside.

I know, I know.  I'm sitting in a Prius.  In a parking lot.

Stay with me here.  

It's been a challenging couple of days.  My little leg's nerves are buzzing incessantly, and I've got a new skin irritation from the prosthetic socket.  Also, my digestive system seems to be on mid-winter break.  (These may or may not be related -- who really knows?)

Today, sitting is better than standing, so I've chosen to wait in the car while my mom runs into CVS pharmacy for a quick errand.  I've got a podcast playing on the radio and the seat heater is on.  It's not a bad gig.  

Plus, when I look out the window, there it is.  

That surprisingly good sky.

Gluggavedur.

When I came home from the hospital 12+ years ago, my parents came to this CVS to pick up my many prescriptions.  

When I could finally get around again, I accompanied them on crutches.

It was a big outing!

And later, when I started PT for prosthetic training, we came here again -- to this CVS -- to pick out a shiny brand new metallic blue cane.  

None of that is happening today.

No tornadoes.  
No medical emergencies.  
Nothing out of the ordinary at all.

Everything isn't right in the world.  Not even in my world.  I totally get that. 

And yet, in this one small moment...

Through this car window,

In this CVS parking lot,

With this surprisingly good sky,

It feels like everything is.

Nature, beauty, peace, gratitude. 

Gluggavedur. 

Climb Mount Fuji

My friend Kim is climbing Mount Fuji.

For real!

I'm following her journey as I recite the 9's times tables.

No, it's not a dream.  Although it definitely sounds like one.

On the same morning Kim starts her climb -- or more accurately the night after (It's 9:30 PM in Japan!) -- I start my usual walk around the block. 

It's cool and drizzly here in Philly.  The sidewalks are flat and mostly "hike-able," except for a construction zone or two.

And thankfully, the coffee is hot!

I have never been to Japan, except if you count 3rd grade.

We studied Japan that year.

Our classroom had a bulletin board displaying a mountain of blue-gray construction paper, surrounded by clouds.  In the sky above the scene, the board proclaimed:

CLIMB MT. FUJI

That was also the year we learned multiplication.

Each day, we took a one-minute speed quiz.  

First the 1's,
Then the 2's,
Then the 3's,
And so on...

As we "passed" each times table, our names would hike up a notch along the slope of Mt. Fuji.  Day after day, we raced our classmates toward the summit.  In those days, rote memorization (and healthy competition) were par for the course!

I climbed steadily till I hit the 9's. 

The 9's were my nemesis.

It's been years since I've thought about that challenge, but when Kim messages me from Japan, it all comes rushing back.  

For me, climbing Mount Fuji will forever be associated with the times tables.

It's like a short circuit, or a trapdoor of memory.  

Fun to jump through... but why??

In the unlikely event I ever DO climb Mount Fuji, I'm pretty sure I'll have other things on my mind.  You know... real, useful things.

Like sweat in my prosthetic liner.

Pressure points on my skin.
My prosthesis coming loose.

Stress on my right foot.

And trying not to fall.

But for now, this strange link is a fun diversion on an otherwise unremarkable day.  

It's a way keep up with my friends.  To travel, in space and time, without all the fuss!

No need to take time off.  
No packing necessary.  
No health issues to worry about at all.

So as I take my short walk, I imagine myself trudging up Mount Fuji alongside Kim in Japan.

9x5 = 45

9x6 = 54

9x7 = 63...

(Happy to report I now have the 9's down pat.)

Thanks for the inspo, Kim!

I'm right there with ya!

My Favorite Kind of Snow

...Is this kind.

The kind that settles lightly on car windshields, but leaves the sidewalks bare.  The kind that's soft and powdery, like the dust of sugar on cookies.  

Like someone decorated the city just for me.  (And maybe they did!)

GRACIAS :)

As a solo traveler and above-knee amputee, I'm especially cautious in the winter.  I fear snow, ice, wind, and all the hazards that come along with them.  

Really, anything could take me down.  

And, if I go down, my independence goes down with me.  (This gets complicated when you live on your own!)

Snow makes everything more difficult.  It lingers in the city, restricting my ability to run errands, step off curbs, and even park my car.

Long after it's clear enough for "most people," snow continues to confine me at home.

But not this kind!

Today the pavement is drying.  The puddles in the street are liquid, not ice.  

And bonus -- as I start down the sidewalk, a familiar voice calls out my name.

Running into Donna makes even the smallest walk BIG FUN.

Go Eagles!  Go Flyers!

Good vibes, Philly!

For me, this kind of snow is an unexpected win.