Walking Day 2023

My leg feels heavy this morning.

It happens sometimes. We had a winter warm-up these last few days, so I switched from boots to lighter shoes.  This morning, the temp dips back to 39.

And I'm in boots again.

They're heavy!

For an amputee, a little thing like changing shoes can make or break your day.  

It's simple physics:  when you lift a long prosthesis with a short lever (a.k.a. 10-inch residual limb), any additional weight can be challenging.

I'm an "experienced walker" now, so I try to roll with it.

Today marks 12 years since I took my first steps on a prosthesis.  Woo-hoo!

Here's the video of those steps back in February 2011.  

I called it Walking Day.

I used to take baby steps.  But it's been 12 years, so I guess now I walk like a "tween."  (This would explain my leg's moodiness!)

Some days I walk easily, almost like my old self.  
Other days, I can't walk at all.  
Most days fall somewhere in between.

For all the advances in medicine and technology, walking is an inexact science that depends on a thousand factors... 

muscle strength and skin,

efficiency and energy,
comfort and pain,

prosthetic fit,

priceless "leg time."

Still, it's good to get out there.

Movement, no matter how slow, usually empowers me.  Fresh air, no matter how cold, usually resets my mind.  

I don't have to go far or fast.

To notice small changes along the path.

A glimpse of sky,
no matter how small,
helps put problems in perspective.

Walking (or not) has helped me process life as an amputee.  It gives me a frame on which to hang "good leg days" and not-so-good ones.  

Over time, I've tried to get comfortable in both spaces.

This morning I heard a quote by Chinese leader Deng Xiaoping.  He said it more than 40 years ago to describe the phenomenon of China's gradual growth and expansion:

Crossing the river by feeling the stones.

Today, these words capture my journey. 

You'd think by now I could cross that river in leaps and bounds, my eyes steadily fixed on the other side.

But really, I still feel each stone.

I lean into the walk -- each walk -- with all its weight and varied terrain.

Even now, after 12 years, learning as I go.  

Happy Walking Day 2023!